Duets of the Damned

Posted by | January 30, 2015 | Uncategorized | No Comments
_80501192_rihannatwitter

With the recent collaboration between Rihanna, Kanye West, and Paul McCartney drawing a lot of buzz and divided opinions, we thought it was about the right time to look back on some of the more eccentric musical partnerships. Here are some of our favourite bad ideas:

Dolly Parton & Sylvester Stallone – Rhinestone (1984)

If you’re one of the few poor souls who has actually seen the 1984 movie Rhinestone then you’ll understand why this unlikely pairing are even in the same sentence together. This “musical comedy” sees Parton trying to pass Stallone off as a country music star and, yes, he does sing. Unsurprisingly the soundtrack is now out of print.

David Bowie & Mick Jagger – Dancing In The Street (1985)

While this cover of the Martha and the Vandellas song isn’t bad, the music video definitely is. You would assume that these two legends could have come up with something a little more respectable than this however it seems a mix of inflated egos, narcotics, and 80s anti-fashion got the better of them. The result was a classic travesty which continues to both amuse and horrify.

Michael Jackson & Eddie Murphy – Whatzupwitu (1993)

Straight out of left field comes this odd duet where the chorus sounds like drunken slurring and the music video is just plain bizarre. It seems they were so excited by new computer technology that they got carried away and created a video that would make Tron fans recoil in confusion. But that doesn’t excuse the bad song and the awkward dynamic between the two singers. Eddie should stick to acting.

Ozzy Osbourne & Miss Piggy – Born To Be Wild (1994)

Yes this actually happened but I doubt even Ozzy remembers. This cover of the classic Steppenwolf song was made for the Muppets album, Kermit Unpigged, and will cause dangerously massive cringing to anyone who listens. Luckily for Ozzy, anything involving the Muppets is clearly not meant to be taken seriously so we’ll let him off this time.

Metallica & Lou Reed – Lulu (2011)

I wouldn’t want to look inside the mind of whoever decided it was a good idea to have the singer of the Velvet Underground deliver spoken word poems over a Metallica backing track. A harrowing thought. The general consensus seems to be that this album should never have happened. This pretentious drivel, void of melody or logic, took everyone by surprise in 2011 and went on to damage the prestige of both artists. But perhaps the biggest tragedy is that it was one of Reed’s last records which is a regrettable coda to an otherwise remarkable musical career.

So anyone who criticizes the recent collaboration between Rihanna, West, and McCartney should adopt a bit more perspective and remember that there has been worse. Much worse…

 

Alex Olesen